She hails from Ilesa, Osun State, but married to a northerner – Senator Grace Bent, 53, talks to BOSEDE OLUSOLA-OBASA, about her love story, political adventure and more
What inspired your involvement in politics?
I came into politics because it is a calling. Politics is using power to defend the weak and serve the people. I started in the university where I played responsible activism. Politics is not dirty; the players are the ones playing it dirty.
How did you gain the support of the Adamawa people in 2007 to represent them at the Senate, despite being a Yoruba?
I believe that God has every man’s blueprint. It is a rare experience in Nigeria’s democracy. I was born in the North; I met my husband in Kaduna and married him. Adamawa State is a mini Nigeria because it has 84 different ethnic groups. I have added another to make it 85 – the Yoruba ethnic group. I have been able to endear myself to my people by God’s grace as a worthy daughter-in-law, wife, grandmother (I have grandchildren). God used Adamawa people to make a statement in Nigeria. I represented the largest constituency in the state – it has nine local governments and over 24 ethnic groups. That was why I strove not to disappoint them at the Senate.
So what stopped your second shot at the Senate?
Some people (like my governor and some others) got tired of my face for reasons best known to them. My people still love me. He stopped the three senators from returning to the Senate.
You might have fallen short of the people’s expectations while in the Senate…
No, I never did. Grace Bent contributed positively to debates affecting Nigerians to the best of her knowledge. I score myself high, even at the committee level, constituency level and I even went beyond my limits to satisfy my people. I am not infallible, but I know I did well. Many people are still at a loss as to why I didn’t return, but I believe that God permitted it to happen for reasons I later understood. I am preparing for my future.
How many Nigerian languages do you speak?
I speak Yoruba, I speak Ijesa dialect, I speak and write Hausa and some Bachama. In Adamawa, people call me ‘Gogo’ (a Fulani word that connotes cherished big aunty).
You frequently make a case for inter-ethnic marriage; share your own marital experience…
I am a very successful beneficiary of inter-ethnic marriage. I have a wonderful and God-fearing husband, one-in a billion. He believes so much in me, he is a pillar for me, after God. He didn’t just want me to be a baby factory, a house wife; he wants mankind to benefit from my potentials.
For how long have you known him?
I have known him for 32 years and we have been married for 25 years. My marriage is a sensitive aspect of my life that I do not joke with. Parents should allow their children to follow their hearts once they can see sincerity. I am not saying that it has been a bed of roses, but inter-ethnic marriage is a potent tool of social integration. I wrote a book on that which foreword was written by Chief Olusegun Obasanjo. Most political elites are in inter-ethnic marriages so there must be something good in it.
What attracted you to your husband?
I met my husband when he was a young army officer. I used to believe that soldiers were bullies; that they beat up their wives. That fateful day, I was going to a mechanic workshop. I had an accident with my brother’s car and was walking down the street in Kaduna, wearing an Ankara Buba and Iro. Suddenly, a car pulled up behind me and the driver with his co-occupant asked to give me a ride. But my parents had taught me never to accept a ride from strangers. That was why my father bought me my first car at 16. I later found that the person with him was his best friend, the current National Security Adviser, Sambo Dasuki. I initially refused the offer, later I accepted reluctantly and asked him to take me straight to where I was going. He took my home address but I didn’t expect to see him again because I had very strict parents. But he later started coming around to my house. This continued for one year and he stopped coming. But six months after, we met again through a friend that we both shared. From there, we started courting; he proposed marriage while I was in the university and we eventually got married.
So how tough has your soldier husband been?
Oh, he turned out to be an exact opposite of my impression of a soldier. Jackson Bent is a wonderful gentleman. I sometimes feel like shedding tears when I talk about him – he is slow to quarrel. He hates to flog the children, I do, he would rather talk. We are opposites in that aspect – I am positively aggressive. He is a tactician, while I am the goal getter, we complement each other.
What do you do when you want to give him a surprise?
I cook for him, he loves good food. It is not always though. I get him perfumes, he loves them too.
What is the meaning of his surname – Bent?
The actual name was Ben from Benjamin – that is his father’s name. But when he was in school, he always wanted to have things done in his own way. So his colonial teacher said that he would add letter ‘t’ to his surname because he was always bent on doing things his own way. Gradually, that was how his name changed from Ben to Bent.
And he adopted the name?
Yes, he is the eldest in the family.
What about the news that you had a fake doctorate degree from London?
It was a honourary degree that I and some other Nigerians were given by the Oxford Association of Management in London. I am still working on my Ph.D. Some mischief-makers tried to make an issue out of it.
Was it easy raising four children?
Yes, because our design was for me to be through with child bearing before starting active work life. I was a housewife then but did a few things by the side. I did some acting while working with the Nigerian Television Authority. I featured in some Hausa soaps. I had a Christian-based musical group because I love to sing and dance.
Do you love partying?
Yes, but they must be decent parties. I love to attend with my husband. I am a fantastic dancer. I use dancing as my routine physical exercises. I forget that I am a senator when it’s time to dance. I love and appreciate good music. With good music, you feel no pain. I love Ebenezer Obey’s music – I have all his albums in my collection. I love Evangelist Bola Are, Baba Ara and foreign Christian music. At my leisure, I love to read my Bible. I love to travel a lot but I still have phobia for air travel. There’s nothing I can do about that because I have to get to where I am going.
What inspires your looks?
It is innate; I just love to look good. I dress to stand out, I don’t follow fad. I love good jewellery, I love diamonds. I love good shoes, I love classy clothes, I feel happy looking good, it’s not because I want to flaunt it. Your dress sense says a lot about who you are. I don’t like wearing attires that expose the body, but I love to be different in my looks.
Do you have any regrets?
I don’t have any regrets; I am a very deep person in terms of how I see issues. I believe there is a reason for everything that happens. However, the death of my father is one thing I wished never happened. I was so close to my father before and after marriage that my husband sometimes got jealous. He jokingly called it dual loyalty. Before my husband, my father was the best thing that ever happened to me. I loved him to a fault. As the first child, he disciplined me so much, but loved me dearly. I really wish that I could wake up and just find my father again. He built confidence in me; he inspired me to see that I could do everything. He taught me to drive at 14. He was a prominent Ijesa man in Kaduna. Whenever he held a meeting of Ijesa people he would say, ‘Sade, come and read this speech.’ I would read it before everybody. When I wrote letter to him from secondary school in those days, my father would correct the grammar and post it back to me. That was the kind of father I had. He gave me exposure. I met another father in my husband. God has been good to me.
How is it being a grandmother?
It is great and exciting. One of my grandsons lives with me. His mother is rounding off her programme in school. I love them and nothing could be better than cuddling them.
But why did your daughters have them while in school?
Is it a crime to have children? So many people desire to have one. I read all that people wrote about them but as far as I am concerned, I am the happiest grandmother on earth. Having two grandchildren in my fifties is remarkable.
So you didn’t feel disappointed about it?
No, God doesn’t make mistakes. It is possible my daughters wouldn’t have been pregnant. My daughters are engaged and will be married soon, but I don’t owe people explanations. They will come and celebrate with me very soon.
Like Nigeria, you were born in 1960. Are you satisfied with the countries’ development?
Really, compared to other African countries, Nigeria has come a long way. But the issue of development in Nigeria is relative, especially when you consider the complexity, multi-ethnicity and religious affiliations. We are moving towards the promised land. Democracy has come to stay and that’s part of the reason for the 53rd Independence Anniversary. We may be moving slowly, but it’s steady. There is still so much to be accomplished but we need visionary leaders to get there.
But where are the visionary leaders?
A country gets the kind of leaders it wants. It is important for people to be more politically aware. People’s antecedents should be considered by the electorate, there shouldn’t be gate crashing.
On that premise, what do you say about the drama in the current political dispensation, especially affecting Bamanga Tukur, someone you hold in high esteem?
It is disheartening. I am a grass root member of the PDP so it feels sad that this is happening. When politicians begin to play God, disaster is looming. We must remember tomorrow in whatever we do. Our lives and times are in God’s hands. The offices we disparage will outlive all of us.
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